You Wonder

You wonder

Why I am this way

The intensity in my gaze

The burden of pain,

The deceit unfazed.

Looming exhaustion from the nights unslept, 

Dragging beneath the burdens bore too long. 

I let you believe I was soft 

Like my knife hadn’t been sharpened on the edge,

You never thought I would pull back, 

Cold in the night 

Without a second thought. 

The thing is,

I wasn’t born this way,

I was made this way.

So if you want a reason why,

When you see the darkness in my eyes,

The child tortured and left behind – 

Remember,

That I’m nothing,

If not a product of my environment.

I recognize your darkness, 

I’ve seen it all before.

I’ve known worse than you,

I know you’ll hurt me too. 

Your disappointment will come as no surprise –

I’ve been to hell many times. 

If you want the answer why,

Look around 

And you will see 

I was created by all of you –

Your hate carved me

Into the person 

I came to be.

So if you want a reason why,

When you see the darkness in my eyes,

The child tortured and left behind,

Remember,

That I’m nothing

If not a product of my environment.