The Choice: Connection vs. Division

Photo by Alina Grubnyak on Unsplash

Every day, each of us has a choice to make.

To spread love and compassion,

Or,

Spread hate, violence, and fear.

We do not have to make this world a difficult place to coexist.

We do not have to put others down to lift ourselves up.

We do not have to always find the difference instead of the shared experience.

We have the choice to connect.

We have the choice to develop empathy and compassion.

Whether you think something is or is not, you are right.

It is what you choose to focus on that matters.

It is the energy you feed that matters.

So, I implore you to consider making the choice to spread kindness.

If you forgot this was a choice, consider the type of world you want to live in.

At what point will there be enough suffering and hate?

Why choose to add to it?

What are we accomplishing by hurting one another?

If you have the choice, why not choose love?

Humanity will forever be handicapped by its own division,

And only saved by its connection.

Trauma

I think every person that has experienced trauma remembers who they were before it happened.

They may suppress the memory of who that person was, but I believe it still lives within all of us, waiting to be rediscovered.

It is like you are born into this world with a mirror.

A clear reflection of who you are.

The reflection you see is your pure self.

Trauma shatters the mirror.

You can glue it back together, but it is not the same as before.

You can see the visible cracks and individual pieces.

The perception of self is now distorted.

You recognize your reflection, but you look different.

An unshattered mirror represents innocence.

I wonder if everyone’s mirror shatters in their lifetime.

It seems the earlier a person experiences trauma, the more deeply it changes that person.

I believe some people are never able to glue their pieces back together.

Hardship is relative to the individual.

The same experience could happen to multiple people and it would all affect them differently.

The sensitivity of the individual determines the impact.

I do not find value in comparative struggle.

Saying one person’s life is harder than others accomplishes nothing.

There will always be someone who has it harder than you and someone who has it easier than you.

It does not invalidate your own experience.

The definition of pain is relative to one’s own life experiences.

Just as the meaning of joy is relative to one’s own pain.

In a way, trauma does open your eyes to the collateral beauty surrounding you.

It allows you to feel and see things that were hidden before, the subtle nuance of life.

I wonder how necessary trauma and pain are in the human experience.

What would life look like without it?

Would that even be possible?

Escapism & Self-Awareness

How will you numb yourself today?

Will you drink or smoke?

Will you watch videos or scroll through endless posts that have little substance?

Will you watch a basketball game or play online poker?

Will you watch a movie or TV show?

Will you order food or online shop?

How will you numb yourself today?

Do you ever allow yourself to feel how you really feel?

Do you allow your emotions to flow through you?

Do you sit with your emotions long enough to understand what caused them?

Most of us go from one thing to the next, always distracting from what is. 

I ask you to strip away every distraction, every bright screen, and just be.

Allow the feelings you’ve pushed down to rise to the surface. 

Only then will you begin to feel alive.

Coronavirus, The NBA, and Mindfulness

There are actually three certainties in life: death, taxes, and global virus outbreaks.

As a kid who grew up in Florida, I am used to seeing a lot of “crazy” in the world. Hurricane season is June 1st through November 30th.
Every year when a big hurricane heads our way, everyone rushes to the nearest Publix to clear the shelves of all the bottled water and toilet paper.
Every year the hysteria surrounding natural disaster sets in, even though it is something we experience regularly.
You might think if you live in a place that experiences frequent hurricane warnings, people would become used to dealing with impending threats;
That maybe there would not be that palpable tension in the air,
the haze over our common sense that drives people to act out.
Alas, that is just not the case.
Someone will almost surely attempt to take out your ankle with their shopping cart to get that last 12 pack of Charmin Ultra.

As I write today, the coronavirus has been declared a “National Emergency” in the United States.
Just yesterday, TechCrunch reported “During the day’s wild trading session, the Dow Jones Industrial Average (DJIA) dropped by just under 10% in what was the largest single-day percentage decline since the stock market crash in 1987 (when markets were sufficiently scarred to institute failsafe measures for the future, to prevent similar, shocking declines).”

While certainly not the same as a natural disaster, the response has been similar in terms of human behavior.
At a certain point, it becomes difficult to differentiate between hysteria and reality.
This incongruity is especially highlighted due to the considerable use of technology and social media in our society today.
Maintaining an appropriate level of response with data from reliable sources, being responsible with one’s own actions, and modifying habits accordingly – while also maintaining any level of inner zen, can be a challenge.

In a way, conflict is good.
We need checks and balances, just like any other system does.
It can be a wake up call, reminding us to reevaluate the things we accept as good or bad.
It can also remind us to be grateful for our health, our family & friends, our careers, and our freedom in a life that we often take for granted.
Assimilating and becoming comfortable with the status quo is a natural phenomenon. Chaos shakes up that sense of security and can be an incredible teacher if we are willing to learn from it.

There is a discernible tone shift as a global pandemic sets in.
In life, similar to relationships, it is “easy” to be happy on the good days.
It is during conflict that real issues surface, that test us in ways we may not have been tested before.

One event that stood out to me in particular involves NBA and Utah Jazz player Rudy Gobert.
As described by ESPN, “On Monday, Gobert jokingly mocked the NBA’s temporary rules requiring media members to keep a 6- to 8-foot distance from players. Gobert…made a point to touch all the microphones and recording devices on the table in front of him after finishing his post-shootaround availability, which was set up in an interview room at the team’s practice facility instead of the normal courtside area.”
“Jazz players are privately saying that Gobert showed a cavalier attitude toward the virus in the locker room, touching teammates and their belongings.”

Two days later, Gobert tested positive for coronavirus. That evening, the NBA decided to suspend the season.
One day later, his teammate, Donovan Mitchell, also tested positive.

What can we learn from this 5 second action and the subsequent end result that reads like a script from a bad comedy?

The issue here is that Gobert not only put himself at risk, but everyone around him as well. Every action has a reaction. (Shout out to Isaac Newton)
It can be easy to forget that the decisions we make in life impact other people. We easily get caught up living as the main character in our own story, not considering potential ripple effects for everyone else.

I encourage people to try to be mindful in their actions right now during the coronavirus outbreak, as well as in life in general.

Don’t just think of your own needs during this time.
If you are sick, don’t come in to work and potentially infect others, who could be older and/or at risk. Wash your hands, not just for yourself, but for the people around you. Don’t buy 800 rolls of toilet paper if you only need 12.

Apply this philosophy to all actions in life and we might screw up the world slightly less.

In summary, I suppose the message here is to be mindful of the people around you.
Put even more simply, be a good person.
Don’t do anything crazy.
Everything will be ok.

References:
https://techcrunch.com/2020/03/12/stocks-dive-on-dows-worst-day-since-1987-tech-crashes-and-bitcoin-is-no-haven/

https://www.espn.com/nba/story/_/id/28893477/jazz-center-rudy-gobert-apologizes-careless-actions

https://www.espn.com/nba/story/_/id/28891354/donovan-mitchell-tests-positive-coronavirus